Sometimes, if you're feeling particularly anxious or stressed, you might choose to remain in that comfort zone for a day, just to keep yourself and your mind happy. This is healthy, as I've said in previous posts, it's okay to do nothing if your brain needs a break.
My mum has ME and Fibromyalgia. These two things alone don't stop a person from working, I've met a lot of people with Fibromyalgia and a lot of people with ME who work. I get that it's different for everyone, and mum has had a flare up which has meant she can't do a lot. This is fair, unfortunately people do have debilitating physical health issues which mean that it's slightly too difficult to do things others can. This by no means is a post hating on my own mother.
Mum also has anxiety. She tried having telephone appointments for therapy for it, and once her therapist told her she needed to try and step out of her comfort zone and perhaps get the bus to go and see her two children, she stopped the therapy purely because she couldn't do it.
Pushing your comfort zone is an extremely difficult thing to do. It's called your comfort zone because it's where you are comfortable, and if there's an option to not be comfortable, it makes perfect sense for us to not want to do it. Like I said, everyone's comfort zones are different, some people's comfort zones may be the country, and only get anxious and uneasy when leaving their home country. For others, like my mum, it's just the house. You can live a pretty good life without leaving the country, although I would always strongly recommend trying to push that if you want to see the world and explore cultures. Your quality of life if you're afraid to leave the house, however, is not going to be very good.
Please don't read this as me 'telling you off' if you struggle to leave the house. I'm not at all. My boyfriend has only recently been okay with pushing his comfort zone back from just his house and it's a big moment and I'm super proud. Mum's comfort zone is her house, unfortunately she's in no rush to leave and seems pretty happy only leaving the house to go for a drive here and there. I get that there are other factors in her life, but it still sometimes makes me sad that she doesn't test herself every once in a while.
I understand that pushing your comfort zone can be tricky. It can worsen anxiety and if that happens, you'll wonder what the point in it is and not want to try it again. The only way you can push your comfort zone is a little bit at a time. Leave the house for ten minutes, once you're no longer anxious about doing that, try for twenty minutes, maybe walk slightly further. Once you're used to that try a bit longer etc. It's tough and incredibly mentally draining but it's a key step in recovery.
I'm not saying you shouldn't have comfort zones at all, some of them might not even be distances away from your house. For me, my comfort zone is going anywhere public with music on. My anxiety is triggered by too much noise among many other things. I like to have loud music on so I can focus on just one thing rather than try and wrap my head around several different noises at once. I wanted to do this post today to talk about how I pushed my comfort zone today, and although there were a few times I wanted to quit and just stick my headphones in, I persevered and I felt really good about it. I also saw it as an opportunity to try and practice mindfulness, which is slightly more difficult when focussing on noise increases your anxiety levels.
I went shopping in the city today. There was nothing remotely unusual about it apart from the fact that I didn't have any music playing. I wanted to stay out as long as possible and just try to embrace the world and its noises while trying to remain calm and keep my panic attacks under control. There were times where it got a bit much, but I knew I could quickly escape the situation by doing something other than music. I left the shop, or went into a different, more quiet shop to just try and get a moment of quiet. It's something I want to try and do more, not because I think there's anything wrong with listening to music while you're out, but with trying to be more mindful and taking in every moment and just being present, it's much better to do that if you are actually in that present and not having music to distract you.
So I encourage you all to push your comfort zones, even if just a little. Yes, it is a challenge, No it won't cure your anxiety. It will, however, make you feel a lot better, and the pride you feel in yourself when you get home and think to yourself "I can do it" feels amazing and is really good for our confidence and our self-esteem. So try and push yourself. It's worth it.
Until next time,
-M x
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